


Affection

by EchoEquinox



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Xion Appreciation Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-18 00:29:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18109628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoEquinox/pseuds/EchoEquinox
Summary: A collection of my small ficlets for Xion Appreciation Week!





	1. Day 1: Remembrance

The sunlight was harsh and glaring and she gasped, an arm raised to shield her eyes from the bright light. After a few moments she was able to blink it away, finally able to take in her surroundings. 

It was strange, to even be able to have surroundings to take  _ in _ , considering Xion was dead. Still, she wasn’t going to take this gift for granted. She closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of ocean air, the feel of sand through her gloves and cloak, resting for a long while on the beach. If this was the afterlife, or whatever served as an afterlife for something like her - not a Nobody, not a Somebody, not… really anything - she could get used to it.  _ Too bad Roxas isn’t here _ , she thought with a smile.  _ We said we’d go to the beach together _ . 

She was jarred from her rest by a loud snore, blinking in the sunlight again as she glanced around the beach. She’d thought she was alone. Wasn’t this her afterlife? Eventually she spotted him, lying in the sand arms behind his head as he snored. She laughed quietly, shaking her head and eventually standing, making her way across the sand to him. He looked… older. His rounded face had started to sharpen. He was a bit taller, lankier too. She cocked her head as he yawned, opening his eyes then jolting to a start.

“WHOA!” he gasped and she laughed, despite the intense feeling of deja vu. “Gimme a break-” He paused, turning to look at her. “Oh, sorry, I thought you were… someone else,” he laughed. 

“Do you remember her name?” she asked, sitting next to him, looking out at the sun. 

“I… I’m supposed to, but I don’t know if…” he frowned, rubbing his chin. She smiled, removing her glove and reaching over to touch his hand, making him gasp in response. “K-Kairi. That was her name, right?” Xion nodded and he laughed. “I can’t believe I almost forgot Kairi.” She pulled her hand back and he frowned. “Why… do you look like her?” She laughed harder, shaking her head.

“That’s… complicated, Sora,” she smiled. “I’m… your memories of her, if that makes any sense.” He nodded slowly.

“That’s why I remembered her,” he said, brushing his fingers to hers again, and she felt a part of her start to fade, gasping and recoiling. “S-sorry!” 

“No, I…” She frowned, rubbing her wrist. “I think… that’s supposed to happen. I… you’ll eventually take all the memories of Kairi, and I’ll fade away.” 

“That’s not fair. You seem really nice. You don’t deserve to fade away.” She smiled, lying back against the sand, closing her eyes.

“I don’t deserve to exist at all, Sora. I was… they used me, to try to contain you. I’m a part of you, in a way, and now it’s time to go home.” 

“Oh.” They were silent for a while, Sora eventually reaching over to rest his hand on her sleeve, careful not to touch her hand. “We can sit for a while, though, can’t we?”

“Sure,” she smiled. “If you want to.” He grinned, nodding.

“You deserve that, at least.” She laughed.

“You really are as nice as they said you’d be,” she shook her head. 

“Who did?”

“Naminé, and Riku.” 

“Oh! You met Riku?”

“I  _ fought _ Riku,” she laughed. “I mean I lost, but I did fight him.” 

“That sounds like Riku,” he chuckled.

“They miss you,” she said, turning over to look at him, Sora doing the same. “Riku, Kairi, your friends.” 

“I miss them too,” he said softly. “I feel like I’ve been away for a really long time, and I haven’t seen my friends in ages.” 

“You have been,” she smiled. “Almost a year, now.”

“Oh.” Then, after a bit, “Why are you wearing that cloak?”

“This?” she asked, looking down. “It’s what we all wear, in the Organization.”

“No, I mean, why are you wearing it NOW? You’re on a beach,” he laughed. “Isn’t it stuffy?” She scrunched up her face, then stood, shrugging off the coat, her boots, the remaining glove, finally in just a t-shirt and her pants, settling back against the sand. 

“This feels weird,” she chuckled. “I’ve never… been out without the cloak.” 

“Good weird?” he smiled and she shrugged.

“I dunno. I guess?” She laid back down on her side, closing her eyes. “The sand is gritty.”

“It’ll do that,” Sora laughed and she smiled, opening one eye to watch him. She’d come from him. She’d BEEN him, briefly, when she’d almost completely become his copy. Why, now, did she appear as what Roxas saw? What Axel did? Was this really who she was? “I only remember her name.” Xion started, looking up at Sora, who was staring at the sky.

“Huh?”

“Kairi. I remember her name, but nothing else. I mean I know she LOOKS like you, but I can’t say how she looks different.” 

“Here,” she started, reaching toward him.

“N-no,” he laughed, pulling away. “You don’t have to do that yet. Just… can you tell me?” She frowned, pulling the cloak under her head as a makeshift pillow and closing her eyes.

“Red hair,” she began. “Blue eyes. Her face is like mine. Or, it was, in your memories. I don’t know how she’s changed. She was… strong. It was hard to see, from the outside. She got taken, her heart taken from her, but she was so strong. When you got turned into a Heartless, she would’ve sacrificed herself for you.” 

“Really?” he asked, and she opened an eye to see him grinning.

“Really. She wrapped her arms around you as Heartless were trying to attack, and it dragged you back from oblivion. That was when Roxas and Naminé were made.”

“I don’t know them,” he frowned. 

“It’s okay. They were… my friends, is all.” 

“Oh.” 

“She had energy, too,” Xion smiled wistfully. “She could never keep up with you and Riku on the islands, but she never needed to. Trying was enough, being with you both was enough. She always did her best. She organized the trip you three were going to take on the raft. Resourceful, smart.” 

“I miss her,” Sora said.

“Me too…” She was resentful, but deep down, she knew Sora deserved to remember her. 

“Tell me about your friends.”

“Oh. Um… Roxas, and Axel. And Naminé, too, I think. Roxas… is like you. He’s got that fire, that drive, you know?” He laughed, but nodded. “Axel was… funny. He was always making Roxas and I laugh, keeping us happy. I… I think I’m really going to miss them…” He turned to her and she realized she had tears in her eyes, turning away from him and wiping her face. 

“I’m sorry, Xion,” he said softly. 

“It’s okay,” she laughed, sniffling. “It’s… I’m okay. This has to be okay.” He didn’t respond and she shook her head. “I’m fine, Sora. I promise. Besides, we can’t just sit here on the beach forever, you know?” 

“I guess not,” he chuckled. She gasped as his hand brushed hers, just for a second, and flipped over to face him. “S-sorry, I just… wanted to see something.” She frowned, studying his face, his eyes moving back and forth, jaw set as he tried to process. “I… I’m getting your memories too.” She started, jerking, eyes wide.

“Y-you-?” 

“I don’t mean to!” he laughed. “I just… I think if you’re fading away, ALL of your memories are gonna be coming back to me, mine and yours.” 

“That’s… interesting,” she frowned. 

“I sort of… I wanted to see…” He frowned, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “You’re… lonely.” 

“Oh. Um… yes? My friends are gone.” 

“No, I mean… Have you ever… had a hug?” She blinked. “Like, you know, when someone wraps-”

“I know WHAT a hug is,” she smiled. “I just… I don’t know. Not really, I don’t think.” He frowned. 

“When you’re ready - to go, I mean - do… you want me to hold you?” She blushed bright red, looking away and hugging her arms to her sides. 

“I, um,” she said, voice cracking. “S-sure?” He nodded and she paused for a long moment before slowly inching forward, resting her head against his chest. 

“You sure?” he asked softly and she nodded.

“Thank you, Sora,” she sighed, his arms around her, and she could feel herself starting to peel away, memory by memory. “The world deserves you more than it deserves something like me.” 

“You won’t be gone forever,” he smiled, resting his chin on her head. “I have your memories, Xion.”

“I guess I  _ will  _ live on through you,” she frowned. 

“No, I have YOUR memories. The memories of Xion. Those memories mean you’re real.” Her eyes welled up with tears and she buried her face in his shirt, crying softly as he held her, piece by piece fading away. 

Someone would remember her. Her memories existed. That meant she was real.


	2. Day 2 - Return

She was alive. Amazingly, astoundingly, against all odds, Xion was well and truly  _ alive _ . She took another sharp breath, the air stale and musty, but it was a breath.  _ Alive _ . The battle with Xehanort, the Keyblade Graveyard, the “second Keyblade War” as they’d started calling it, had brought her back. Even she didn’t understand how it was possible, but she was here, returned, to the land of the living. This time as her own person. 

She’d been to Twilight Town, with the others, back on the clock tower with Axel and Roxas, SaÏx and Roxas’s old friends, from the Other Twilight Town. She’d gone to the beach, gotten to see everyone else - Naminé, the eerily familiar Ventus and his friends, Riku and, eventually, Kairi. They’d said she could stay wherever she wanted: Destiny Islands, Twilight Town, somewhere on another world. She wanted to, really, but she wasn’t… done. 

When she’d asked Riku for the favor he looked at her like she was crazy. Then, he explicitly ASKED if she’d gone crazy, and she’d laughed. It took some coaxing, but eventually he had agreed, on the condition that he would come along with her, as an escort, in case something went wrong.

So they walked the dark streets, feet tapping against black pavement, passing darkened windows and glowing signage, more a strange, bioluminescent geographical feature than something man made. It was called Dark City, but it wasn’t a city, really. Nobody lived there, nor had they ever. It was a world created by and for Heartless, a twisted version of the place they’d used to live before their hearts were stolen away by the dark. It always gave her the chills.

“You alright?” Riku asked, noticing her shiver. 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” She continued walking, though he moved a bit closer, an instinctive, protective gesture. She hadn’t wanted him to come along, and had told him as much, but now, being here… she was grateful for the company. 

He stopped, and it took her a few paces to realize he wasn’t beside her, turning to see what had stopped him. He looked up at a large building, still imposing despite the top missing - a deep, diagonal cut having severed it. 

“I fought Roxas here,” he said quietly and she shuddered, nodding.

“I remember.” He gave her a look and she smiled. “They keyblade he threw you. The little flashes of memory. That was me. Or, I guess, what was left of me.”

“Right,” he nodded slowly, turning back to stare at the building.

“Did you two do that?” she smiled, looking to the cut, and he laughed.

“Sora and I, yeah. The fight against Xemnas was… something else.”

“I wish I’d been there to see it,” she sighed. “I’d love to have watched him get what he deserved.” Riku was silent and she shifted uncomfortably for a few moments. “Um, let’s… keep going.” He moved to her side as they started again, heading through streets and alleys, jumping at every movement, Riku ready to summon his blade to fight the Heartless. But none came.

Instead, their walk was silent and tense until they finally reached the edge, a cliff leading down into the nothing below the city, where an enormous pile of ivory rubble rested. 

“There it is,” Riku said, as Xion inhaled sharply.

“Yeah,” she nodded. She slowly moved to the edge of the cliff.

“W-wait,” he started, running towards her as she sat down, scooting so her feet were over the ledge. He stumbled to a stop before joining her, sitting and staring out at the remains of the Castle That Never Was. 

“So this is it, huh?” she asked softly. “All of Xemnas’s hard work, all of the data, all the hearts we collected. It’s just this big heap of trash, now.” 

“I guess so.” 

“And Xemnas is the only one who won’t be coming back,” she smiled. “Everyone else gets another chance. Even people like me who never deserved it.”

“Xion…” 

“I mean… Like, literally, not… you know, in a ‘beating myself up’ way. I wasn’t a PERSON, Riku, you know that. I was just Sora’s memories of Kairi. Now…” She held out a hand in front of the castle rubble, flexing it. “Now I’m me. I didn’t think I could do that.” 

“I’m glad you are,” he laughed and she smiled. 

“Me too.” Eventually, her smile fell and she faltered. “What… do people do?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, I’m… new at this. What are we supposed to do now?” 

“Well, I don’t know,” he replied, scratching his neck. “I guess we… just sort of wait for the next adventure.” 

“You’re not gonna wait,” she smiled, poking him in the side and he laughed.

“No, probably not. Sora could be out there somewhere, hurting, and I want to help him. Once I take you back to wherever you want to go, I was probably going to head out and find him.” She nodded, scooting closer and resting her head on his shoulder. He went stiff for a second, before wrapping his arm around her shoulders. 

“I could come too,” she offered. “I don’t… have anything holding me here, and I want to be useful.”

“I think it’s something I have to do myself, Xion,” he said softly and she sighed. 

“I know.” 

“You’ve got Axel, and Roxas, and Naminé to look after you and help you, though,” he smiled. “Things won’t be that bad.” 

“I don’t want to be ‘looked after’,” she replied, frowning. “I want to DO the looking after, or help people somehow, o-or… I don’t know, I want to DO something, Riku. I hate this sitting around.”

“It’s called relaxing,” he teased and she huffed. “You can’t work yourself too hard, Xion.”

“I went on missions all day every day for a year,” she pointed out.

“Didn’t you go into a coma at one point?” She opened her mouth, then scowled.

“Yeah, but… that wasn’t the work’s fault.” 

“Sure,” he laughed and she groaned. “Seriously, Xion, you’re alive now, and your own person. Don’t you want to explore that?” She frowned, hugging her arms tight, curling her legs under her.

“I don’t know how, Riku. I don’t… I don’t know who I am. Everybody else seems to just… KNOW. Axel has his life with Saïx, Roxas has his friends and Twilight Town, Ven has Aqua and Terra and his little cat thing. Everyone else has a PLACE. Somewhere they belong, like, their… their own niche. I don’t have a place of my own. I don’t belong in Twilight Town, or Destiny Islands. I belong down there.” She pointed down to the rubble and Riku sighed.

“What about Naminé? She feels out of place too, I bet. The two of you are similar, you could go to her.” She shrugged weakly. “I can’t tell you your purpose, Xion. It’s something you have to find for yourself. Isn’t there anything that you like?” She frowned, brows knitted together as her thumbs rubbed against her arms. She’d been to so many worlds on missions, what did she like? 

She liked sea salt ice cream, obviously, but that was more about the people than the dessert. She liked… the desert. Agrabah was nice. It was HOT, but it was nice. She felt like she could get lost there, like no one would notice her in the hustle and bustle of their lives, and she could just live, unnoticed. She liked the eerie feel of Halloween Town, the strange monsters that lived there making her feel more normal and human by comparison. She scrunched her face up, thinking. Wonderland. Beast’s Castle. She liked-

“Flowers?” she said finally and Riku chuckled. “Don’t laugh!”

“Sorry, I just… wasn’t expecting that. Though I guess, with a name like Xion...” She frowned, shoving him lightly and he laughed again. “So, flowers. I dunno, roll with that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You can… garden?” he tried. “Like, grow flowers, learn about them, I don’t know.” She frowned. 

“I... never thought about that.” 

“That can be like… your  _ thing _ . You can garden, and grow flowers for people, and from there you can figure out who you are. Meeting new people at the… flower store, or whatever.” She laughed, shaking her head. “Even something as simple as flowers can help you figure out who you are, Xion. You just have to be open to it, and looking, and you’ll find it.” She paused, meeting his eyes before moving forward and hugging him tight around the midsection, head on his shoulder as he rested his hand on her head. 

“Thank you, Riku. Really. It means a lot that you’re helping me with all of this.”

“I mean I’m not gonna grow the flowers for you,” he laughed, then softer, “but yeah, Xion. Of course.” She held him for a long moment before pulling away, awkwardly scooting down a few inches, eyes returning to the destroyed castle. “You almost ready to go back?” 

“Yeah,” she said softly, standing. “Just about.” He stood, then paused. 

“Want a little alone time?” She nodded and he patted her shoulder, walking back down the street as she stared into the gaping pit. This had been her home for an entire year. Walking its halls, talking with its residents, doing missions for Xemnas. It was all she’d known. But the second she met someone new, the second Riku stepped into her life, that was all shattered. And for the better. She'd learned about Sora, about where she came from, her purpose in life. And then, she'd rejected it. Fighting back against Xemnas in every way she knew how, and eventually even dying for it. It had felt so good to rebel. 

She fished a thalassa shell from her pocket, the last one remaining from her time at the Castle. Roxas had hidden it on some world, some act of preservation that she’d thank him for forever. But now she held it out, outlined against the Castle, taking in the soft pinks and yellows before letting it fall from her fingers, clinking against the street before teetering into the abyss below. The last piece of herself tied here. 

She drew in a labored breath, turning to Riku who was trying to pretend he wasn’t watching her, and smiled, giving a soft wave before heading to join him, to leave Dark City. This time, she wouldn’t return. No more RTC. Not ever again.


	3. Day 3: Separation/Reunion

**** The air was crisper than Xion had remembered. It smelled sweeter, felt warmer, filled her lungs more comfortably. She wasn’t sure if it was the changing of the seasons, or if it was just nice to be… home. She hadn’t said the words out loud, but the longer she was here in Twilight Town, the more home it became. Both from the comfortability of it all, and the people.  _ Especially the people _ , she smiled, squeezing Roxas’s hand tighter as they walked.

“Oh, sorry, you okay?” he laughed and she smiled. 

“I’m fine. What were you saying?”

“Right,” he laughed. “So then it was me and Axel and Saïx, right? And I insisted we pull this great prank on Hayner…” He continued and she rested her head against his arm, holding him close, only half listening. He’d tell her again later, she was sure, and even the thought of him talking so exuberantly about something for a second - or, to be honest, fifth or sixth - time was just so… Roxas. 

Roxas was just so… ROXAS. She didn’t have another way to describe it. Sure he was born from Sora’s heart, or a combination of his and Ventus’s, and he was like the two, but he also… wasn’t. He was goofy and aloof in a way that Ven never was, and serious and firm in ways Sora could never have dreamed of, the big dork. 

But that seriousness came from… a place of darkness. His voice would get low and his face would scrunch up, asking “Xion, are you okay?” or “Did something happen?”. He was always expecting something to have HAPPENED. He was always awaiting the day where something terrible would occur, hurting her, or him, or the others. Because he was trained the way. He was RAISED that way, by Xemnas and the others at the Castle. Raised in an environment of hostility and fear. And so he could never have the same carefree attitude Sora did. 

Not when you had to kill your own best friend and let her die in your arms. 

“Xion?” She blinked, looking up at him and pausing, chuckling and taking her trembling hand from his and clasping them together, hoping to stop the shakes.

“It- I’m okay,” she smiled. “It’s okay, I promise.” He frowned, tugging her gently by the sleeve to a nearby bench and sitting next to her. His face was scrunched up as he examined her.

“Xion, are you okay? Did… something happen?” She laughed out loud, surprising him and herself, a hand flying to her lips.

“S-sorry,” he laughed. “I, um, yes. Or, I’m okay, nothing happened.” 

“You’re still shaking,” he said, taking her hand and she nodded.

“Yeah. I… just got to thinking about stuff.”

“Stuff?” She turned away, biting her lip. 

“Um, like. Clock tower stuff. From… before.” 

“Before?” he laughed, then paused. “Oh. You mean…” She nodded hard. “I… oh.” 

“It’s okay,” she said quickly. “I mean- I know nothing like that is ever going to happen again, I just… it’s still… there.” He looked to her and she tapped her temple. 

“Right. Same.” He mirrored her motion and she smiled. He still looked so serious, so worried.

“Do… you remember what you said?” she asked, and he frowned, shaking his head. “The last thing I remember is you holding my hand, asking ‘Xion, who else will I have ice cream with?’.” He blinked, then let out a soft laugh and she grinned. “That’s what you were worried about?”

“N-no,” he laughed harder. “I just- I meant- You were my friend, you know? I was losing a friend. Losing the person I spent time with, and loved to be with. Have ice cream with.” She laughed, hugging his arm, resting her chin on his shoulder, staring at his face. 

“You’re sweet, Roxas.” He glanced over to her and blushed, chuckling.

“Sure, I guess.” She smiled, kissing his shoulder through his shirt. 

“You are. You’re a good friend and I’m glad I’m here with you.” He smiled and nodded, resting against her. 

“Are we friends?” he asked softly.

“Of course,” she frowned. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Or, sorry… are we… just friends?”  _ Oh _ . She felt her heart twist and she frowned. “I-I just… after you… you know, the first time you left, I started thinking about how much I missed you, and if it would be the same if Axel left, and how I felt about you.” He paused, drawing in a breath. “And, then, when I saw you again, at the Keyblade Graveyard, and we fought Saïx… I kinda… realized how much I cared.” 

“Oh,” she said, voice small.

“B-but, if you don’t feel that way, that’s okay too!” he laughed, waving his hands. “I-I mean, it’s totally cool!” She scrunched up her face, then shrugged, still holding his arm tight.

“I dunno,” she replied honestly. “Maybe? I think… I’m still getting used to it. This whole… person thing.” He nodded. “But, um. I like you? And I like being with you. So… that’s promising, I guess?” He laughed and nodded. 

“Right. Plus, like I said, no big deal or anything.” She rolled her eyes and chuckled, slowly pulling away from him.

“We’ll have to see,” she replied, closing her eyes, breathing in the crisp Twilight Town air. His hand rested on hers on the cold bench, and she smiled. The air was crisper now. “It’s nice to be home,” she said quietly and he chuckled.

“Yeah. Home.”


	4. Chapter 4

Xion tapped her fingers carefully against the table, drumming a beat she didn’t know, anxiously tapping her foot as she looked across the stark white table at the blond, drawing in her sketchpad. She groaned quietly, anxious, until Naminé finally folded her book shut, smiling to Xion.

“Sorry, I expected you here a bit later.”

“I didn’t really have anything else to do,” Xion replied, biting her lip and frowning. “Um, is this like… one of those ‘bad talks’? Like… did someone die or something?” Naminé laughed, shaking her head.

“No, I just… wanted to talk to you. I figured you needed someone to talk to.”

“Oh,” Xion frowned, looking over the girl who was running her thumb against her arm, staring at the table.  _Oh_. “Sure, Naminé,” she smiled. “Want to go for a walk?”

“Sure!” She set down her sketchbook, following Xion out of the mansion, setting off through the woods.

“Naminé,” Xion started and the blond girl looked over at her. “Why do you stay in that mansion? It’s falling apart, and that’s where…” She frowned, scratching her head. “You know. That’s where… DiZ kept you.” Naminé stiffened, looking away.

“I, um… I feel… more comfortable there,” she said softly. “I have somewhere to sleep, in Twilight Town, but I just… it doesn’t feel like home.” Xion scrunched up her face, but understood the feeling. Her place didn’t feel like home, yet, either. The bed was too soft, the view not up high enough, the rooms not the same shade of blue-gray. She shuddered.

“I understand.” She caught Naminé’s eye again, but she just nodded, silently. Eventually Xion reached over, hesitantly taking Naminé’s hand in hers, the girl immediately grabbing back, giving Xion’s hand a soft squeeze.

“How do you do it?” Naminé asked quietly, and she glanced over to her. “How… do you keep going? It’s so hard.”

“Yeah,” Xion frowned. “It really is. I just… I think about how much work it took to get us here, I guess, and I don’t want all of that to be for nothing. So I keep going for them.” Naminé chuckled and smiled.

“That’s so noble. A little sad, but noble.” She paused. “You were… always like that, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“You fought the darkness for so long, collecting hearts, defeating Heartless. You fought to protect Roxas. And when Riku told you that you had to return to Sora, you did that. You gave up your life for another, going against what you were taught, and what you could do, and making sure you returned to Sora.” Xion shuddered at the memory, but focused on Naminé’s face to keep from thinking too much about it. “All I ever did was what I was told. Because it was easy, because it kept me safe. I warped Sora’s memories, very nearly turning him into a weapon for Marluxia. I only fought back because Axel put down all the other Organization members. And I only fought back by telling Sora my memories were fake. I didn’t do anything to actually… fight back. Just had Sora do my fighting for me.”

“Naminé…” Xion started, but couldn’t find the words, and after a moment, Naminé continued.

“After that I worked for DiZ. Or… he kept me here, in this mansion, like the Organization had with Castle Oblivion. This time fixing Sora, but the same type of prison. Nobler work, at least, but still chained to a master. And the second that master wanted me gone, I let Riku spirit me away, running away, fleeing from the end I should’ve faced to return to Kairi. I kept… running, Xion, until I couldn’t not, until Kairi was there, her hand in mine, and I had to go. I still didn’t want to. I wanted, selfishly, to keep my own life separate, not giving Kairi back the pieces of me I’d stolen.” She laughed softly, finally meeting Xion’s eye. “I always saw you as the me I couldn’t be. The nobler, kinder… brighter me. I was darkness, where you were light.” Xion blinked, eyes wide.

“N-Naminé… how… could you think that? I was designed as a weapon, made to fight, to take Sora’s place. All I am was built on darkness. You’re  _Kairi’s_  Nobody. You’re like… MADE of light.” Naminé frowned, then started to laugh. Xion quirked her head, starting to laugh with her after a few seconds. Eventually, Naminé wiped a tear from her eye, taking Xion’s other hand and smiling at her.

“We’re both so self-conscious, aren’t we?”

“I guess so,” Xion smiled.

“We’re here, now, though. We made it through the dark.” She frowned. “Maybe… maybe we’re both light.”

“Maybe,” Xion said, pulling Naminé’s hands up between them, almost at eye level. “Or, maybe we’re not light  _OR_ dark, Naminé. Maybe we’re just… people now, who get to make their own destinies, chart our own paths. We aren’t just light, or just dark, and we certainly aren’t the embodiment of those things. We can’t be, we’re… just people.” Naminé paused before grinning.

“When did you get so smart?” Naminé laughed and Xion scoffed.

“I’ve ALWAYS been smart, thank you very much,” she sniffed and Naminé laughed harder, Xion smiling. It was nice to see her laugh. She’d been beating herself up for so long, making her smile was worth it. “Hey, Naminé.” She stopped laughing, looking to Xion, smiling brightly. “Why don’t we go have ice cream on the clock tower. I can pay?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I’d like that very much, Xion.”


	5. Chapter 5

Xion swallowed hard, frowning and tightening her grip around the plastic bag with the silly, cartoon mascot on the front. She had no idea why she was so nervous, but she found it hard to breathe when she thought about the meeting, blinking hard to try and clear her head. 

She’d come back on break from school on the islands, and had arranged to meet everyone, hanging out with each in turn. It was the end of the week, and now it was Xion’s turn. She shuddered hard. What if she messed up? What if she HATED Xion, or seeing her was too hard? She groaned softly, rubbing at her eyes with her palms for a few seconds before finally blinking in the Twilight Town sun, sighing and approaching the tables outside of Little Chef’s bistro. 

“Hey, Xion!” Kairi grinned and Xion gave a small wave before sitting across from her. “Whatcha got there?”

“Oh, um,” Xion went bright red, lifting the bag onto the table and pulling out two ice creams. “I figured you’d maybe want one? I wasn’t sure, if you’d tried it, um. It’s sea salt.” Kairi smiled, taking one and biting into it, crinkling her nose and laughing. 

“Sea salt,” she nodded. “It tastes… so weird.” 

“Sweet and salty,” Xion smiled, taking a bite of her own. 

“So, how’s Twilight Town treating you?”

“Um, good, I think. I’ve been hanging out with everyone a lot.” She paused. “I, uh, have some flowers, I’ve been tending to.”

“Oh, yeah? That’s cute! Do you like it? Gardening, I mean?”

“Yeah, it’s nice,” she smiled. “I mean, it takes a while to get anything done, but when it’s done it’s really pretty, you know?” 

“That’s life,” she laughed. “Lot of growing before anything gets good.” Xion frowned, nodding. She’d done growing too, and she supposed she was somewhere good, now. She smiled lightly, then blinked, looking back to Kairi.

“So, uh, how’s… school?” 

“Oh MAN,” she groaned. “It’s a whole mess. We just finished finals, right? And I mean, sure, I studied really hard, but god they’re so TOUGH. And then SELPHIE is always giving me shit- er, I mean- she’s always, uh-”

“You can curse around me,” Xion snorted. “I’m not 10.” 

“I- well, yeah,” Kairi laughed awkwardly. “But she’s always pestering me about who I’m taking to the dance, since she’s taking Wakka AND Tidus, and it’s not like I have two boys I- um, I could… take…” She frowned, drooping and Xion panicked. 

“U-um,” she stammered. “So, finals, are… um, tests? Right? I’ve never… been to school, so I’ve never- uh, really taken a test, but… or not one on paper, I took tests with the Organization, where they’d make us, like… collect medals or beat Heartless, and stuff, but… I, uh…” She frowned, looking up to see Kairi smiling. “S-sorry. Was I rambling?” 

“No, you’re fine,” she chuckled. “Thank you, for that. Helping distract me.” Xion flushed, nodding. “You’ve taken tests before, though,” Kairi smiled. “Right? I mean… you’re Sora’s memories of  _ me _ , but I’m sure he thought of or saw me while taking tests before.” She frowned, brows knitted in thought.

“I guess… I have. I remember… math?” She paused. “And hating it.” 

“Yeah,” Kairi laughed. “Sora never was good at counting.” She was remembering more, digging for a memory like opening a floodgate to Sora’s memories. Trying to find a drop of water and getting a waterfall. 

“I want to go back to the island,” Xion said quietly with a sigh. “I feel like I belong there, you know? Like… part of me feels like that’s home, but another part feels like it’s here with Roxas, and ANOTHER part thinks it’s…” She shuddered. “Back at the Castle That Never Was. Where I grew up, I guess.” 

“Well where do you WANT to be?” Kairi asked, resting her hand on Xion’s, who idly laced her fingers with the redhead’s. 

“I’m… I don’t know,” she sighed, hanging her head. “I don’t know where I belong. I think if I went to the islands, I’d want to be back here. I’m always going to want to be somewhere else.” 

“You could travel?” Kairi smiled. “There’s always the gummi ships. You can just sort of go back and forth whenever? It’d be nice to have you visit sometimes, too.” Xion smiled, fighting a blush and nodding.

“Yeah… I think maybe I would like that.” 

“Oh!” Kairi said suddenly, pulling back her hand and Xion blushed, realizing how long they’d been lingering there. “Since you missed the islands… I remembered Roxas had said you liked them, so…” Kairi smiled, fishing out a handful of seashells and setting them in front of Xion. Her eyes widened as she examined them. They were GORGEOUS - all different shapes and colors, some iridescent, others spotted and glittering. 

“Kairi…” she breathed, “thank you. Thank you so much, these… wow.” 

“I’m glad you like them,” she grinned proudly. “I picked them out myself! And… I did buy a few, but mostly I found them.” 

“You did?” Xion blushed, picking a shell up and turning it, catching the orange sun, changing colors as she twisted her hand. “You… I mean, you got these all for me?” 

“Sure,” Kairi smiled. “We’re friends, right?” Xion paused, scooping them all into her grocery bag and beaming at Kairi.

“Yeah. We’re friends.”


	6. Chapter 6

“You’re sure about this?” Roxas frowned, making sure the rubber gloves were snug over his hands.

“Yes, I’m sure,” Xion nodded.

“No, but like, REALLY sure?”

“Roxas,” she laughed. “I’m REALLY sure.” He paused, then sighed deeply, starting to apply coconut oil to her hair. 

“Alright… Just, if you  _ do _ this, that’s… a LOT of bleaching. It’s kinda hard to come back from that, as far as the health of your hair goes-”

“Sound like an expert on this,” Axel grinned as he mixed the bleach, setting out the toner and shaking the dye. “I thought  _ I _ was supposed to be the one taking point on this.”

“I-I mean, I… you know, I read the bottles-”

“The bottle talks about hair health?” Xion smiled, eyes closed as his fingers ran through her hair.

“H-hey! Don’t you both gang up on me!”

“Your hair always WAS a bit too blond,” Axel laughed and Xion chuckled to herself. 

“C’mon, guys!” 

“Alright, Axel, stop teasing him,” Xion smiled and he sighed.

“Oh  _ alright _ . But only if you consider my argument.” 

“Oh come on,” Roxas grumbled and Xion snorted.

“Axel, I’m not gonna go as red as yours.” 

“But it looks so GOOD! Doesn’t it?”

“On you maybe,” Roxas laughed. “If Xion tried to pull that off…” She opened her mouth to retort, but sighed, nodding. “So, just blond, then?” 

“Um, actually… I went out and bought the color I wanted while you two were on your way over.”

“Wait, you did?” Axel gaped. “Well then what the hell did I bring  _ my _ dye over for?” 

“I didn’t ask you to,” she replied, sticking her tongue out at him. “But, yeah, it’s under the sink, in a plastic bag.” She heard Axel rustle down below. 

“Oh! Hey, that may actually look pretty good on you!” She grinned, and felt Roxas’s fingers pause as he looked over as well. 

“Oh wow, that’s a REALLY pretty shade of purple.” 

“See?” she smiled. “I know what I’m doing.” 

“Well I am terribly sorry for mistrusting you, then,” Axel chuckled. She opened one eye to see him holding the purple next to her head, squinting. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s gonna be perfect!” She laughed and Roxas finally finished, taking a step back and looking her over. 

“It’s gonna take a while for the bleach to set in,” he warned. “You gonna be okay?” 

“I think so,” she smiled. “I’m excited!”

“Should be!” Axel smiled, ruffling her hair and she huffed. 

“Alright, we’ll do the bleach and then it’ll be like… half an hour before we can rinse that and do the dye. Thankfully you don’t have a whole lot of hair to dye so it won’t take too long.” She frowned at that as he started to apply the bleach. She DIDN’T have a lot of hair. Kairi could pull of the short haired look, sure. Aqua and Naminé had hair that was a bit longer, down past their necks. She wondered if she’d look good like that. She’d have to re-dye it, obviously, if she wanted to keep it purple, but she’d maybe like longer hair. It was bizarre to realize she had so much agency over her appearance. For a year it was just black cloaks, her hair not growing due to the bad replica body. 

“And done,” Roxas smiled, pulling her hair up and settling it under a shower cap. “And now we wait!” 

“A whole half hour, huh?” she chuckled. “What do we do until then?” 

“Let’s talk about boys,” Axel joked and she laughed.

“What, like Saïx?” she teased and he went as red as his hair.

“H-hey! Low blow!” She and Roxas laughed as he sighed. 

“Do you guys ever… want to change your name?” Xion asked after a moment. 

“What do you mean?” Roxas asked.

“Um, like… well your name is just Sora, with an X. Mine is No. i, with an X. It just… kind of reminds me that I was… you know, not human, at one point? I dunno.” 

“Do  _ you _ want to change your name?” Axel asked. 

“I dunno! I mean…” She frowned. “I don’t HATE Xion. It’s kind of pretty. It’s like the flower, shion, and it’s this really gorgeous purple flower-”

“Oh, THAT’S why you picked purple,” Axel laughed and she blushed.

“It… it’s part of it, yeah,” she admitted. “But, um… in flower language it means ‘I won’t forget you’.” The other two were silent for a moment. “But it’s a pretty flower, and I really like it. It also has another name? It’s the ‘tatarian aster’, or just aster, usually. I kind of… thought that was pretty.” 

“Aster?” Roxas asked and she nodded.

“It does kind of have a ring to it,” Axel nodded slowly. “Weird to have two A names between us, though.”

“Yeah, Aster and Asshole,” Roxas snorted and Axel kicked him, the boy yelping in surprise. 

“But you’re Lea,” she smiled. “You  _ have _ a Somebody name. Your Nobody name was just your own, with the X. Roxas and I didn’t have names before this.” 

“I guess that’s fair,” he frowned, rubbing his chin. “What about you, Rox? What would your Somebody name be?” 

“Uhh…” He frowned, crossing his arms and tapping his foot. “I dunno. I don’t really have anything. Roxas just always sort of… suited me, I guess.”

“Oh,” she frowned.

“But that doesn’t mean YOU can’t change your name,” Axel pointed out. “Just cuz Roxas over here is a wet blanket.”

“I’m not-!” She chuckled and smiled.

“I guess that’s fair. I don’t really… know yet. So you can keep calling me Xion until I figure it out. I just sort of… I want something new, you know? Something that’s… just me. No names from someone else, no purposes built by someone else. Just me.” 

“Hence the hair,” Axel smiled and she nodded. “I get that. You’re entitled to your own sense of individuality, you know?”

“You don’t know what all those words mean,” Roxas laughed and Axel rolled his eyes.

“Thank you both, for helping me with this,” she smiled. “It means a lot.”

“‘Course, Xion,” Axel smiled and she sighed, resting back against the mirror, closing her eyes. Her hair, her friends, her name. Something that was just hers. 


	7. Chapter 7

chest, closing her eyes. “Is… this okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” he chuckled. They were silent for a while, Xion feeling his breathing, the warmth of the sun, listening to the gentle lapping of waves. “Are you doing okay?”

“I’m fine,” she hummed. “Why?” 

“Just like, in general. You have the cool new purple hair, which is neat. What about everything else?” 

“I dunno,” she sighed. “I think Roxas wants to date. But he and Axel and I are still going strong, which is nice. I’m better friends with Naminé and Kairi now. I was starting to get to be better friends with Riku before he left. Oh, I’m gardening now.”

“Oh yeah?” he smiled. “How’s that?”

“It’s fun,” she laughed. “It’s a really pretty and fun hobby.” He nodded, silence for a bit, before: 

“Do you want to date Roxas?” She frowned.

“I don’t know. He’s really sweet, you know? And he cares about me. I don’t know if I want to  _ date _ him though.” 

“Got your eye on someone else?” he chuckled.

“You- uh, y-you know,” she blushed. “Just… I dunno. I don’t know if I’m… compatible with anyone? I dunno if they like… get… me enough.” 

“What do you mean?” She groaned, burying her face in his shoulder, half in frustration and half to hide her blushing.

“Just, everyone says they GET it, like what I’ve been through, and how hard it’s been, and like going through the Organization and stuff, and like maybe ROXAS does and Axel kinda but like… I DIED and then I had to join up with Xehanort and-” She groaned loud, squeezing her eyes shut. “I dunno, Sora. It’s just frustrating.” 

“I know,” he said softly, and she felt his hands threading comfortingly through her hair. “I’m sorry.” She sighed, pausing. He  _ did _ know. He’d almost gotten taken by Xehanort, he died for Kairi. He understood more than most others would. She clung tighter to him, blushing a bit brighter. This was… a frustrating development, for many reasons. 

“Um, Sora?” she said softly, pulling away. 

“Yeah, Xion?” 

“I, uh-” She gasped, pulling away as her vision started to blur.

“Xion? Hey, Xion?” Sora asked, patting her face as things started to fade.

“I think I’m waking up,” she mumbled and he frowned. 

“Oh.” She rubbed her eyes, trying to stay in the dream, looking down the island and seeing someone running toward them, a white vest and light jeans.

“Look at that,” she laughed and Sora gasped. “He  _ did _ find you.” 

“Hey, Xion?” she looked back to him, blurry through her waking vision, but she could still make out his broad grin. “When I wake up, maybe we can talk more. About like… I dunno, how I… get you.” She went red and laughed, lying back against the sand as the black started spotting her vision, pulling her from the dream.

“I’d like that, Sora,” she smiled. “I’d like that a lot.”


End file.
